A moment of past that has recently been on my mind, and a photograph:
The seven of us, still nauseated from the two hour flight, stood on the gravel beach, surrounded by our seventeen packs and three canoes. The only trees in sight were a small stand on the point, all less than five feet tall. We watched as the float plane backed out of the bay and taxied toward the center of the lake. It turned around, picked up speed, and lifted off the surface; icy arctic water trailing behind. Passing over once, twice, and flying south until it was just a dot in the sky. That moment marked our last contact with civilization for the next six weeks. Forty days with no knowledge of the outside world, no sounds of the outside world, no sights of the outside world except for a lone jet trail in the vast sky or a scattering of ancient inuksuit on a ridge. We were on our own, just the seven of us. Everything we would need we carried on our backs and in our canoes. The sudden feelings of freedom and disconnectedness with everything we’d ever known. Everything was new, wild and exciting. It was, in a sense, like being born again for the sake of being unbelievably alive for the following adventures.
To live like this, removed from society, civilization, distractions, is such a wonderful experience. It allows one to become in tune with their body, mind, and the world they are in. To feel truly alive and aware of every change in the weather, every cloud that covers the sun, the structure of the land, the flow of the water… the flow of life. (Jan. 19, 2011)
Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk, teacher and author. The following is an excerpt from his book, “Peace Is Every Step”.
The Roots of Anger
“Anger is rooted in our lack of understanding of ourselves and of the causes, deep-seated as well as immediate, that brought about this unpleasant state of affairs. Anger is also rooted in desire, pride, agitation, and suspicion. The primary roots of anger are within ourselves. Our environment and other people are only secondary….But what is most important is that we first take care of the seeds of negativity in ourselves.”
When I first read this section of the book, I was unsure what I thought of it. It seemed like a bizarre idea, this thought that anger’s roots may be within ourselves. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to like and really believe that such is true.
I brought up the idea to Sarah while we were paddling down a particularly curvy section of the Kazan River. We talked about different forms of anger and determined how and where each issue could form within. It really was rather interesting to realize that this idea of anger coming from within was quite possibly true. However, we decided that there can be exceptions to this. Such as being angry with a person for physically harming someone else for no particular reason can be justified.
Sometimes when I’m angry I stop and try to pick apart my reasons for feeling that way. I search for something within myself, a personal source of the anger. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, I almost always do find a root for the anger. A root that is NOT the other person’s fault, but rather my own. Maybe it’s jealousy, a flaw of mine, a grudge I’m holding, something that’s happened in my past. But almost always, I find that it is true that anger comes from within.
I am still, and probably always will be, working on taking care of my personal seeds of negativity. Just being conscious that the seeds exist helps. (Oct. 29, 2010)
